William Dodd
13 March 1996 - 12 December 2000
Aged 4 years 9 months

During William's illness Johanna and Peter kept their friends and family updated by means of a Christmas poem sent with their Christmas cards. The following is the story of William's illness, interspersed with these poems, which together follow the events of William's life and how Johanna and Peter have sought to keep William's memory alive.

Christmas update December 1999
10 December 2000
Celebration of William's Life
December 2001
Deember 2002
December 2003
December 2004
December 2005
December 2006
December 2007
Article for John Radcliffe magazine April 2007

William was diagnosed with cancer at the age of 2 years. He had a limp for some time, which eventually was found to be due to a tumour on his lower spine. An operation was carried out to remove the tumour. The medical staff were very confident it was benign. When William returned from theatre the surgeon said 'he's moving both legs' at which we were overjoyed as this meant the spinal cord had not been damaged too severely. However within a few days we got the news that the tumour was malignant but the tumour could not be identified, so the treatment could not begin.

William was recovering well but had to re-learn to walk, with his 'action man' splint for his now dropped foot. Everyone was amazed at his strength of character and the twinkle in his eye, qualities that stayed with him over his battle for the next 2 years. Eventually it was agreed that treatment should start despite the diagnosis being tenuous. Chemotherapy (for secondaries in the lung) and radiotherapy followed. William is the only child of his age (then 3 years) to have radiotherapy daily for 6 weeks without an anaesthetic! He lay perfectly still every time!

Christmas Update 1999

1999 Oh what a bummer....
It started in winter and went right through summer!
Little William has a tumour on his spine
He's finished his Chemo' and he's doing just fine
His right foot is weak and he's got a splint that's trendy
It's Action Man colours and the new one is bendy!
His radiotherapy starts very soon
If that really works we'll be over the moon!
Six weeks to Oxford almost every day
He'll have a medical degree if he goes on this way!
Peter's been fab he's been a real brick...
At least with the 'radio' there'll be no sick!
William is amazing he's coped really well
It's been up and down and occasionally hell.
But Wills goes on smiling and running about
We just wish he'd talk as he does tend to shout!
Edward is growing - he's a real boy
He still prefers swimming to any old toy!
His instructor says he's really a fish
And teaches him 'polo as is his Dad's wish!
He rides his bike well without any fears
I think Santa's bringing a new one with gears!
He's enjoying school and doing quite well
3R's and discipline....at least 'til the bell!?
And then there's Lucinda! our little girlie
who arrived in the chaos a little bit early!
She smiles from her cot with big blue eyes
And kicks in the air with her chubby little thighs!
She's gorgeous and cuddly (especially at night)
And she looks just perfect in pale pink and white!
She's learning to swim with her friends and their mothers
She needs the survival skills for bath time with brothers!
Peter and I are doing our best to stay bright
With all the hospital visits we're like ships in the night!
School runs to juggle, baby to feed
Hospital visits and shopping we need
We have many friends who have helped us a lot
We're very lucky with the friends and family we've got!
Peter still cycles and swims when he can
Then asks what I do all day...typical man!
So the year has gone quickly with no holidays
Some remembered quite fondly but a lot in a haze.
So Santa...our wish is for a gift we can share
Just our William cured...oh, and he would like some hair!
Best wishes

We thought we had won but the tumour returned on his sciatic nerve and another course of chemotherapy and radiotherapy began. During all of this William kept smiling, they called him Dr WiIliam as he always corrected them if they slipped up on any procedures!

William went to nursery and joined in as much as possible and eventually he started Kingscote School with his big brother in September 2000. He was so proud to be wearing his uniform. His splint didn't stop him ... he ran in just like all the other boys. William continued to have treatment but we carried out as much as we could at home, However he started to falter and we knew something was wrong. Tests showed William had tumours in his other lung and we knew then that nothing more could be done. In fact we were amazed he had kept going so long.

10th December 2000

Dear All,
Since we wrote to you last it's been a tough year
Though there's been lots of fun and plenty of cheer
We all went to Disneyworld, Florida in May
Lots of rides and shows and Lucinda's 1st birthday.
When we got back the news was bad
William had another tumour - poor lad
A lot of treatment and travel followed
With a lot of medicine and chemo swallowed.
We thought we had beaten it, that he had won
For a while he was fine - we are so proud of our son.
He has fought really hard - started school in September
He's been doing very well in class .. .a star member!
But sadly both lungs have become affected
Any further treatment has been rejected
He's been through enough, everything possible
Enough is enough of tests and hospital.
As I write this he is at home in our bed
We're keeping him comfy, our hearts are like lead
Edward knows William is not at all right
But at 6 years old he's holding on tight -
To his feelings and wishes for his little brother
He won't tell anyone, not even his mother.
Lucinda just smiles her way through the day
Chatting and cheering in her own special way.
These coming weeks will be really hard
But we owe it to William to send this special card
To keep spirits up and stories read
And everything peaceful in his little head
We send Christmas wishes to all near and far
Just please keep on wishing on that special Star.
With love

William came home on Friday (with oxygen and morphine) to be with his family. He insisted on going to Daddy's Christmas party at work so we took him - oxygen cylinder attached, so he could see Santa. We narrowly avoided blowing up the bar when we remembered it was a smoking zone! On Sunday William wanted to see the school nativity play, he should have been in it, we had his angel costume all ready, but he was determined to see it anyway. We sat at the front and William waved to his class. William died on Tuesday 12th December 2000. He still had the twinkle in his eye but I think he knew it was time to say goodbye.

Sadly William died peacefully at home on Tuesday night. Our brave and beautiful son was William all the way.. he never gave up. Our wonderful memories of him will carry us through; he gave us all so much. Everyone who met William was touched by his smile, strength and amazing courage. Rest in peace now our little angel.

William Henry Dodd
13.3.1996 -12.12.2000 Aged 4 years 9 months

Celebration of William's Life
spoken by a family friend at William's funeral

As adults we feel it is our role to teach and guide Children so that they grow into good, well behaved and considerate members of society.

Over the last 2 years I have been shown by William the importance of appreciating life as it is; to see the opportunities for fun in all the changing circumstances that life can throw; to share love and fun with those around regardless of personal discomfort, worry or pain; to be brave and courageous in the face of adversity. Through it all William still kept the twinkle in his eyes and his sense of fun.

William was a very determined chap, a deep thinker, he would often sit contemplating and once his mind was made up to do something he invariably always did it! Not a lot stood in his way! William enjoyed many varied things, amongst his favourites was his swimming which he began at the age of 3 months and became very competent particularly under the water! He loved family holidays, the ones he often talked about were Antigua where he loved the sea and sand, Disneyworld where he loved it all, Mary and Michael's farm in Devon where the boys got to drive the tractor and get very mucky. These holidays were interspersed with trips to Skegness which he thought of with almost as much fondness as Disneyworld!

An extraordinary little boy leaves us all with a lesson in love and wisdom. We can all learn valuable lessons from the way William lived his 4 3/4 years with us. Let us honour him by holding onto our memories of him and when we feel challenged by life remind ourselves of his courage and of something Johanna remembers from 3 o'clock one morning when William was up and having chemotherapy, he said very matter of factly.... 'Mummyyy you know God'? well he didn't put my hair in properly - it's all falling out'

Edward has chosen the hymns today - some of William's favourites from school and don't they reflect that sense of fun and enjoyment. Throughout William's life Edward has been a source of fun (and fights!) and together they have got up to all sorts of mischief - aptly caught on camera - lately Edward has been full of consideration and love. I am sure William felt richer for having such a great brother.

Two Mondays ago on his way to hospital and on the way to drop Edward to school William was quiet in the back of the car, but suddenly said in a knowing and loud voice... 'I notice Edward has forgotten his glasses again!' typical of how close they were and willing to drop each other right in it!

Lucinda has of course been a source of unconditional love, both giving and receiving. William was the first person Lucinda would actually cuddle and the tenderness between them needed no words.

Johanna and Peter have given themselves to their children and nurtured a strong loving and fun filled family (not to mention the von-Trapp style family bike rides!) My prayer for them is that through the darkness they hold onto that special family of which William will remain a part. That happy memories and constant love will light their path and fill their future.

Everyone has said that William is at rest now; let us hope it is more comfortable than he was in hospital. Peter recalls only 2 weeks ago William said ... 'Daddy why don't they have beds in hospital like we have at home?' Well at least he didn't have the fold up bed!

To God I ask for his presence to hold William's family in his protection, comfort them, love them and guide them forward. I know he holds William now (probably playing tennis as was William's wish!) and that our little friend is no longer in pain but filled with joy and peace.... and maybe a few ice lollies! The twinkle in William's eyes will have returned to greet those who follow.

William was very close to his grand parents and Johanna and Peter would like to say to them;
"Never say in grief you were sorry he is gone. Rather say in thankfulness you are grateful he was here."


May God's Blessing be on each of you.

December 2001

Dear All,
2001 - What can we say about the year gone by?
It's so hard to tell, but here goes I'll try,
We miss William so much it still seems unreal
Emotions run wild - so far time does not heal.
Edward is coping but he misses his brother
Wills was his friend; there could never be another.
Lucinda talks of William and knows who he is,
She's startlingly like him - her mannerisms are his.
The family dynamics have all gone to pot
William, although small, contributed such a lot!
The sparkle he held is still travelling far
Edward & Lucinda even have their own star
It's called 'William's Star' - it's up in the sky
Forever to shine as our lives tick on by.
So how have we coped? Well it's all down to you
Our friends and family and all that you do
I couldn't list everyone or everything here in this note,
But a special Thank you to all from Thorpe House and Kingscote.
Mrs. T. all the staff, the Mums, Dads and boys,
Without whom it would have been all sadness - no joys.
They've been with us hand in hand all the way
Helping, cooking, caring and just being there every day.
We know William has brought a lot of people together
And we hope 'William's Fund' will help people forever.
We've raised £70k so far for Childhood Cancer Research
But we need to keep going so they're not left in the lurch!
A huge Thank you to ALL who have helped with the cause
More projects to follow when the team's had a well earned (short) pause!
Keep up to date on www.williamsfund.co.uk
We'll be updating it more regularly next year so we say!!
So thank you once more for the help, support and love
I'm sure William is watching from high up above,
Wishing you all a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year
We hope it is full of happiness and good cheer.
PS. Edward would like to say 'hi' to you all
He's standing right here playing with his ball!

December 2002

Well now it's Christmas time again, and almost 2003
Edward's in year 4 now and Lucinda at Nursery
And now of course there's Henry,... Oliver Wilson Dodd
Who's absolutely gorgeous and not at all a little ...

Henry has brought joy and love for all the family
A positive focus, a forward step and of course more work for me!!
We know William sent little 'H' to keep us all in line
Thank you Wills, with your help we're all doing just fine.

William. is always with us, constantly on our mind
I often look around thinking I've left him behind
Wherever we are, there's always a space, in the car or at the pool
Where Wills should be, laughing, smiling or just playing the fool!

Oh how we miss him, his bright and twinkling eyes
It seems he was here only yesterday, how time flies.
William has a headstone now, a very special one
We had it made with loving care for a very special son.

William's Fund, our tribute, is going very well
Another 100,000 Christmas cards to sell .... !
So many people have raised so much, all in William's name
So many wonderful events, none of them the same.

So far £110,000 has been raised thanks to you
We would really like to thank you all for everything you do
To find out more about the fund see www.willamsfund.co.uk
It's all there, so not much more I need to say.

Edward loves his rugby, he's Captain of the U.9s
Practices on Lucinda, don't think she really minds!
Wait til Henry grows a bit, he'll join in on the scrum
For now he just about manages to roll onto his tum!

The matches are really exciting; I've been to every game
Edward is the Hooker and my voice will never be the same!
Lucinda is a little more dainty, ballet is more her thing
But their favourite is in the pool they both love their swimming!

1 will be working again in January, just a few hours in the pool
Teaching babies from birth to 3yrs to swim underwater ... cool!
Henry will start his lessons too, survival skills for the bath
Peter swims almost every night, no slippers for him by the hearth!

So you see how the time passes quickly for us, best to keep on the go.
In fact very soon we hope to move house, quite when, we don't yet know
Watch this space for a new address very soon, a good start to 2003
But for now Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year,
Hope it's all that you'd like it to be.

December 2003

Dear All - As 2003 is nearing its end
I still haven't written my message to send!
How are you all? What news to tell?
I hope this newsletter finds you well.
In February, we moved house, to Gerrards Cross
I wasn't keen, but Peter's the Boss!?
I said I'd move if we could walk to school
So now we do - it's great and we save fuel!
We pass the duck pond every day
In fact, 'quack' was the first word Henry did say!
We walk to the shops, the restaurants and the station
Peter gets the train to London - what a marvellous creation!
Now that he has been promoted, he goes to London more
His new title 'Director of Sales and Marketing - Europe'.. Cor!
In August we had 2 weeks in Turkey, fun and games on the sand
Hotel was great, lots of swimming, hardly a moment on dry land!
Edward is now at 'big' Thorpe House, long trousers, but no cap,
He's neat & tidy and distinctive in his orange clothes from Gap!
Edward rides his bike to school, at least when it's not dark,
He's joined Beaconsfield Rugby Club and still swims like a shark!
Lucinda is now a 'purple girl' at Maltman's Green School,
She's full of life, talks a lot and is magic in the swimming pool!
Henry is complete delight, walking, swimming and such fun.
It's very strange that Wills life ended but Henry's has just begun.
William is with us all - in fact, he gets around
Travelling far for William's Fund, still making us very proud.
Our tribute to Wills - to fund research - is still going strong,
We thought perhaps support would dwindle but boy, we got that wrong!
So many events, so much help, so many caring friends
You make all the difference and on you, the fund depends.
A lady came to me in September, offering her services free,
Her expertise is websites … how lucky can we be?
The website is now fantastic, it's where we keep our news
But most importantly, we write our many, many thank yous!
Our Christmas card sold out early, 'Snow Dreaming' a great design,
No one could be as proud of their Mum as I am of mine!!
For Childhood Cancer Research so far, £200,000 has been raised
So many people have helped this year and they should all be praised,
Thanks to everyone near and far for everything you've done.
Some I know, was quite hard work but most of it was fun!
A Merry Christmas and Happy New Year we wish to all of you,
With love and thanks from all of us and little William Too!

December 2004

The cards have started to arrive in heaps,
As the spectacle of Christmas ever nearer creeps
The tree is up, decorations too,
So it's time to write our news for you.
Peter's job takes him away a little more,
It sounds exciting to me, but he says it's a bore!
He's taken up golf with Edward now,
I'm threatening to join them if time will allow?
Edward passed his 11+, what a star,
He really deserves it, he's worked hard this year..so far!
Life is ever changing as the children grow so fast,
What used to be the future is too soon in the past,
We ride our bikes to school now, Henry on the back,
Lucinda takes the lead with Barbie bike and purple backpack!
No road rage or parking problems just lots of fresh air
Edward takes the walkie talkie and calls us when he's there.
In January we went skiing, Alpe D'huez with Mum & Dad,
Edward in ski school, brilliant and quite the lad!
Lucinda had ½ day lessons and has quite a natural style,
We met with Martin & Izzy and skied with them for a while,
Then we skied with Grandma, not that you could tell,
She looked as young as ever and skied extremely well!
Grandpa skied with all of us despite pain in his hip,
He's had a replacement now, remarkable recovery and we're planning another trip!
In summer we went to Greece , an action packed holiday,
The children went in clubs and did exciting things their way,
Peter and I learned to sail in Pico's, Lasers and Catamarans,
We really enjoyed the time together and working on our tans!
At lunchtime and evening we all met in the pool and talked about what we'd done,
Tennis, sailing, football, water polo, singing, games, all this, swimming and sun!
Our annual trip to Skeggie (thanks Jane) as always a great hit,
Mums drink wine, read and chat while the children play in the pit!
Throughout the year there's William's Fund as Wills is always here
The gap he left still haunts us, as we wonder what he would have done this year
We see Wills in Henry, they are really quite alike,
Cheeky blonde and noisy, especially on the way to Ba's on the bike!
In name at least he's far from idle, the fundraising is going well,
We hope to reach £250,000 soon with all the Christmas cards we sell.
Our website will keep you updated, please take a look and see,
It would be great to hear from you, just log on and email me!
As I write this it's William's anniversary, 4 years ago today
The memories are always with us, they never go away.
But thanks to our family, our friends and school we know he's remembered with love,
The many events and kind words, I'm sure he looks down from above.
The Kingscote and Thorpe House Anniversary Ball was a splendid and fun event
As well as the PA they chose William's Fund and raised £1800 for us in the tent!
For marathons run, mountains climbed, sales and sporting events,
- we thank you all sincerely.

I'm sorry I can't mention you all, but you know I love you dearly!

December 2005

Oh No! Is that the date? This will have to be quick or very late!
What's happening in the Dodd household? What's new and what's been told?
It was the end of an era for Edward, he passed his 11+
So now he's at Dr Challoner's Grammar School and goes in on the bus.
Thorpe House was great, sad in a way to leave
But Edward's very happy at Challoner's - and somehow not quite so naïve!
He's playing in the Rugby ‘A's, matches most weekends
His work is good and steady and he's making lots of friends
Got through the County Cricket trials and swimming's going well
Beat Dad at Golf (once) - tho' I'm not supposed to tell!
So we're very proud of Edward, he's a really great lad
I think he's like his Mum but Peter says he's like his Dad!!
Lucinda is in Year 2 at Maltman's Green now, loving every day
We still cycle to school, past the duck pond on the way!
Lucinda passed her ballet exam and her swimming level 9
and got in the school squad already . .a year ahead of time!
Trampolining with Sue and Helen is fun and Lucinda's at level 5
Piano lessons are going well – she's playing right now – live!
Our little girl is growing fast, but oh so daintily…
Her hair is long, purple's in and she oggles Flintoff lovingly!
Henry has had some changes this year – sadly no more Ba,
He's started Kingscote Nursery - 5 mornings now ha ha!
He's wearing all William's uniform and he's had chicken pox
In Nativity he was baby Jesus – ‘born' bursting out from a box!
Henry swims too,(surprise, surprise!) amd has now done level 1
He's a really cheeky character and gives us all such fun.
Peter is well and travels more to Russia & Europe, including the East
Enjoying his job and home life (I hope), still a fit swimming beast!
We converted the loft for extra space, 2 beds and a shower room,
Our secret weapon is Danka - stood by with the broom!
Danka is from Slovakia, she came to us in May
A lovely girl, staying a while, she helps in every way.
In January we went skiing in France, the cute little village of Ardent ,
Henry went in the crèche with toboggans, Lucinda was a ‘petit flocon'!
We escaped to the (on the) piste, Edward was in the competition class
Racing, jumping and all that stuff, we prefer the mountains seen through a glass!
In April it was Disneyworld Florida , to celebrate my parents 50 th wedded year
And they are still celebrating… off on a cruise ‘til next year!
Well what have I been up to? That's easy just see the above!
I'm still running William's Fund and remembering with Love.
Our supporters still amaze us with their kindness and good heart
We thank you all for helping raise £280,000 since the start.
Research is going well; you can read it on the website,
William is still here with us, we hold onto our memories very tight.
We wish you all a very Merry Christmas and hope that you are well.
Hopefully we will see some of you next year and your news you can tell!
With love Johanna, Peter, Edward, Lucinda and Henry

December 2006

'Twas the night before Christmas, no builders in the house,
Utility room extension is finished - hooray - now about that mouse!
Danka has left way back in October
So now it's just us, still enough to fall over!
William's anniversary went by in a haze
6 years - unbelievable, it still seems like days.
William's Fund is doing well, Christmas cards sold out
Penguins popular with everyone - not just him there's no doubt!
Henry (4) was an Angel in the Kingscote Nativity play
Really looked the part just as Wills should have on His day.
Henry's in reception now, a true Kingscote boy
They say he has "his own agenda" - I see trouble ahoy!
Recalled for County Cricket trials - of Edward (12) we are so proud
Studying harder now - can Grammar School take "head out of cloud"?!
At Club Champs last year he was Junior Champ - 9 cups and a bagful of medals
Almost as many as Daddy got in Polo and pushing pedals!
Talking of Peter - now on the Esab Global Management Board!
Travels much further, says I don't understand him... I thought he said "bored"!
Little Lucinda (7) is blossoming beautifully, swims for Maltmans Green School
This year is her first Club champs at Otters - she got 5 Gold Medals - cool!
Still learning piano, trampolining too, ballet exam over, results in Jan
Dances around the house to music whenever she can!
Henry just passed ASA level 4 and has been shooting a book
Kingsley's Waterbabies to be republished next year, perhaps you'll take a look.
Underwater pictures galore - posing - as Tom - he's been a really good soul
And I get to work in it too, in my baby handling role.
Still teaching baby swimming Mondays and running William's Fund too
And yes, Peter still asks what on earth I do!
Holidays - three of them, very good time had by all
Tenerife in half term with Ma and Pa (they're very well) - we all had a ball
Sun, rest, booze and fab visit to the penguins in Lara Park
South of France in August, met up with friends and vineyards in the dark?!
French cottages, cycling, bumpy tracks, and lunch with David and Ingrid - lots of fun.
Oh and skiing in La Tania, France - reptured my knee ligaments 3rd run!
Down in the blood wagon - a jolly painful ride.
Luckily Peter - with skis and poles was right there by my side!
Nasty fall, fresh snow, steep hill, oh it WAS a black....
Physio forever, I can still hear the Craaaack
While I rested (in agony) the children were in ski school
And I watched them all have fun with Peter and felt a silly fool!
So home on crutches, no driving for weeks, thank goodness for my friends
They were all so wonderful (still are!) heping out until it mends.
Danka was brilliant - took over my role, sadly she's gone now, off to pursue a new goal.
Creeping closer to Christmas, a crucial week to prepare
Flu strikes right on me - bedridden - oh no how does she dare?
Well the cards'll be late, probably not signed, no presents for some
It'll still to be seen whether Father Christmas will come,
But, saved by my parents - Christmas Day we travel to Hampshire
For a Cracking "Grandma's Christmas Dinner" and a house of festive cheer!
Hope you find yours somewhere!!
Love and as always, many thanks to all our William's Fund Supporters

December 2007

To all our family, supporters and friends,
Another year, another ryhme - oh why do we start these trends?!
A year summed up on paper just to let you know
How everybody is and how these children grow!
Edward is now 13 and quite a strapping lad, playing badminton, golf and still cricket mad!
Dropped competitive swimming, but taken up diving instead;
Swims, but less and never time to lie around in bed!
William would be 11 now, really hard to imagine,
We still struggle with not seeing him and his cheeky grin.
Lucinda is 8, always on the go, swim squad, Otters too,
Tennis, trampolining, piano and diving - that's new.
Only 4 weeks off the high boards and time for a competition,
Lucinda got a silver medal - all that bouncing came to fruition!
Henry is just "H" a lively little chap, finished the book
(a republished "Waterbabies") should be out next year - take a look.
(There was a hiccup when he broke his arm,
Fell off a chair - all in his stride, very calm!)
He had a lot of fun taking the pictures under water
And until the book was finished we had his hair much longer than we oughta!
We made it skiing to Alpe D'Huez, though I kept it very gentle,
Peter skied with me in the mornings and off with Martin in the afternoon - to go mental!
Summer took us back to Skegness, a few days with the girls,
The funfair and children in the sea
Then Kos for a fantastic fortnight of sun, warmer sea,
Sailing and scuba but surprisingly no donkey!
Peter took his sailing RYA1 and 2, quite the addict now;
Edward in Daddy's footsteps took his RYA 1,
Then just to avoid any R&R, Edward and I did our PADI Suba diving - boy was that fun!
We had such a fabulous time we went back in October for more,
Ma and Pa came too; it was lovely to walk with them down the shore.
Aquatone for the girls, sailing for the boys, Edward took his RYA 2,
Lucinda and Henry took to the clubs, there's so much for them to do.
We also had a brilliant time on a visit to Llanbedroch,
Made welcome by Howie and Jane, we toured around to Abersoch.
Fabulous walks, BBQ on the beach, wet children in waders and lots of fun,
We used every type of clothing from wind and rain through to sun!
Peter's looking very trim having lost lots of weight,
He's training hard in the pool now with 2 clubs he'll be fading away at this rate.
He travels lots all over the place but he's enjoying his work more,
The children do miss him but love to jump on him when he comes in the door!
This year at the Otters club champs they held a family relay for fun,
Peter and I had a great time swimming with Daughter and Son.
Peter would have enjoyed it more our family had won!
William's Fund Fair was a great success, thanks to all the team.
This time of year is so hectic, more so cos of William it would seem.
The cards are almost all sold out, well done to Mummy I say,
The research in Oxford is going well, see the news on williamsfund.co.uk
Thankyou to everyone for making it another successful year,
There are far too many names to mention everybody here,
But I'm sure Wills would join us in wishing you all
Health, Happiness and Festive Cheer!

Article for John Radcliffe Magazine April 2007
(written by Johanna)

So where are we today?

Our children are growing fast, Edward now 12 still remembers William very fondly and misses him a lot. He has a few friends who were in his class at school and have brothers in William’s class; I think it is tough on him when they meet up. The gap created by William’s death has meant he is now 5 years older than his siblings and would welcome his old partner for the games in the garden and doubtless the PS2!

We are proud of the way Edward has handled the whole situation, especially when we look back on the times we spent with Wills at hospital and the stresses around, he was so young to cope with that and I think we took for granted his strength throughout.

Lucinda is now 7 and also has fond memories of her big brother; they were very close. Lucinda was born the night he started his chemo and subsequently spent the first 18 months of her life between hospitals staying in with us quite often. William loved to cuddle Lucinda and she often writes notes and songs to him even now.

Henry is our ‘gift’ from William, strange to think he would not be here if William was with us! Our family was complete until we lost Wills then we just felt the need to fill a gap, although we knew Wills could never be replaced. Henry was born in 2002 and was a positive move for the whole family, bringing a fresh sense of purpose and fun.

We have such fond memories of William in the water, a great little swimmer! It was where he wanted to be and we didn’t let his illness stop him so he swam throughout his treatment. The physio who took William for hydrotherapy was amazed at his agility in the water; we still see Vivienne when she pops in to see how we all are - now that’s caring for you!

All the children have continued with the passion for swimming. William was a fabulous swimmer and now Edward and Lucinda swim for Chalfont Otters and for their respective schools. Henry is in the midst of shooting underwater pictures for a book to be published early next year; he is the main character and has done some weird things in the water so far!!

Peter and I talk with the whole family about William. We have never stopped anyone from talking about him whenever they like. The children have been through various stages of wanting to know different aspects of William’s illness and in fact the final moments of his life. We explain to them as clearly as we can with as much information as they ask for. We have a fantastic support network of friends who have stuck by us and remember William fondly, they are never too shy to speak of him and Henry is repeatedly called William… it happens in all families with more than one child so why not ours!! I still find it hard when people ask how many children we have, I always say 4 because William is still with us in so many ways and to exclude him would be too hard. He is our ‘star’ and appears as such in our family ‘logo’!

I am sometimes asked why the penguin as the logo for William’s Fund- well just because Penguins were William’s passion and he had them all over his room!

William’s Fund became a natural progression for us as we settled to life without Wills. It kept his memory alive and meant we were trying to change the outcome of this disease for future children. Although we are not a strongly religious family we feel William is watching over us and have had some ‘strange goings-on’ occasionally when we laugh and blame Wills!

It is actually quite difficult to explain how we got to this point, I sometimes feel (Peter does too) that we have been sedated for 6 years and that we are just starting to come out of the fog! In hindsight I think we both threw ourselves into staying as busy as possible to give us no time to think!! I have developed an‘off button’ when I need to stay strong! No doubt that friends carried us through it.

William’s Fund meant we were able to channel the emotion somehow and it just took off. Locally we have been well supported by friends, businesses and colleagues, many who knew William and that is very important to us, knowing that he is remembered. The events that raised the money are extremely varied, if I mention any I may offend those I leave out so best not!! However most are featured on the website and the archives give a fabulous summary of the number and variety of events. One ‘event’, which has really increased our profile, is the annual Christmas card. The story of this begins with one very good friend from William’s school (one of the Edward and William class!) who came to me one morning in 2001 and said she thought the Christmas card my mother painted was really good and that we should print them for William’s Fund! (My Mum has painted a card for family and own business use for some years but they were never printed, just photographed and stuck to card. The one she painted for 2000 was called ‘Star of Wonder’ and featured William flying a kite in the snow… except as Mummy drew ..the ‘kite’ became an Angel… the rest, as they say….)

My friend had costed the project and approached a local printer and was very keen to print 100,000 cards!!! Well in my ‘fog’ I agreed and what followed was another example of great friends and a great community. The cards and envelopes were delivered in a large truck to my friend's house, boxes were loaded into her very large dining room and friends were recruited to come round and count and pack cards over coffee!! With the help of lots of the mums the cards were packed and sold locally with a huge profit and a great sense of achievement. My mother was stunned that anyone would buy them and still believes she ‘isn’t very good’!! The cards are now a firm favourite among locals and have gone to a wider audience nationally and internationally, and yes we still pack the cards in our sitting room over coffee with all our friends!

Losing William has taught us a lot about life. We are more patient now and try to enjoy things more, we appreciate the children and don’t take things so seriously. We thank William every day for being here and we are so proud of him and how he coped with it all. He has a tree at Kingscote School, the same age as him surrounded by a circular seat for the boys and engraved with his name as ‘the bravest of Kingscote boys’. We also have ‘Will’s Place’ now, a beautiful spot at the church he was christened at. He has a lovely stone made with his own handwriting carved onto it and a message from Edward and Lucinda carved by themselves on the back, he has a tree which is the same age as him planted by our local tree surgeon who knew William. He has a star carved out of a tree section by friends and a bench from his grandparents who miss him so much. There are stones and shells brought back from family holidays by the children and messages from friends who go there to sit and contemplate. It is a beautiful spot and whenever Peter or I go there you can be sure that a little glimmer of sunshine will break through and we smile to ourselves and say ‘Hi Wills!

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